When some one dies we can bring to life in ourselves the essence of what their relationship
has been bringing to us. Previously we had received from them the energy of their
own personality -
You (I'm referring to me!) must beat your passivity. You were brought up to be a carer and so to be passive about your own needs. Your satisfaction was acceptable only when it came to you unsought. You chose your form of evangelical christianity because in it there is formula of being good: earning rewards, but you stay the passive one in regard to your own fulfilment, and the active one only insofar as you're being compliant to a given behavior system in order to attain the reward. This is a perpetuation of the childish state, instead of chosing adulthood you chose to have God as a parent figure operating a please>reward system.
Leave that behind and learn to be active, not passive, consciously choose your own satisfaction, don't wait for it to come as reward for being good. Teach Cara the same.
Learn to bring to your consciousness your highest ideal / thought in any situation and take the action that would bring it about.
You know when you are most regressing into first-
People who search out the 'rules' in christianity are those most likely to have experienced
conditional love. They deeply want free acceptance but find it hardest to believe.
A framework of justification allows them to feel secure because those around them
are under a duty to love and accept them as they have no excuse not to. They will
find each other out of their need and they will form like-
It's a particularly adolescent thing to see the word 'freedom' and read 'the freedom
to do all those things I wasn't previously allowed to do'. It relates to the nurture
process of restriction leading to autonomy. To adults who already feel they're able
to do whatever they want the word 'freedom' must mean something else. To those caught
up in any kind of oppression -
When you look into people's eyes
You See how far back they go
they are Characters
Holding you at bay
So you go no further than is wanted or permissable
Who is behind tne buffers ?
Who dare push them away?
Only those invited
Who look beyond the buffer
And love the one in the shadows
And even then they are seldom Wanted
But remember this,
God has always lived in your foreground
And your shadows
And meeting the God in others
Will always involve meeting
The one who struggles in
The one who waits for the barriers to be broken
So that life might flood them
In its fulness.
So look carefully into the eyes
Of those that you love
The buffers that you sense are waiting
To be loved out of existence -
Usually at your cost, until
Harmony emerges and you
Have expanded God's realm
Because you denied the denial
And dared the darkness
Which vanished under your tender light